By Jingsi, USA
Hello brothers and sisters,
Thank the Lord so much for this chance, which allows me to stand here to bear witness to the wonderful deeds He has done upon me. Whenever I hear this hymn, I always have my memories of ten years ago evoked: “Yes, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me. … All the days of my life, all the days of my life, surely goodness, surely goodness and mercy shall follow me. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.”
I remember it was in May of 2007. In springtime the trees outside put out green buds and the grasslands were tinged with green. There was a sign of life everywhere. However, I, who was lying on the sickbed, felt all was gray …
“Mom, have some rest and I’ll go to pay your medical expenses.” Looking at my son leaving, I thought: You all keep me in the dark, don’t tell me the truth and even transferred me from the general hospital to the tumor hospital. This won’t do. I have to understand what happened. Then I quietly followed him and unconsciously saw these words written on the diagnosis: “a malignant tumor.” At that moment, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I grabbed my medical record from him and saw that I really had cancer. Then my son said to me with hems and haws: “Mom, you were diagnosed with uterine cancer by the doctor. It has progressed into Stage 3A. You need to be hospitalized for chemotherapy now. He has given you three months to live.”
These words hit me like thunder from a clear sky. I thought: Am I dreaming? I am so young; how come I have this kind of terminal disease? There are so many people on earth, but why is it I that get this disease? Then even if I run myself into the ground to earn much money, what use will it be? Can it save my life? If I die, what will happen to my family and my children? Thinking of this, I felt despair in my heart and didn’t know how I got back into the ward with heavy footsteps.
The following days, I bathed my face in tears every day, thinking: The illness is so serious, so how can it be cured? Every time when I saw my wardmates passed away, I was terrified that I would be next to die. Just as I was living in pain and hopelessness, I saw these words of God: “When sickness happens it is due to God’s love, and His good intentions are surely behind it. Even when your body endures suffering, take no ideas from Satan. Praise God in the midst of illness and enjoy God in the midst of your praise. Do not lose heart in the face of illness, keep seeking and never give up, and God shall shine His light on you. How faithful was Job? Almighty God is an all-powerful physician! To dwell in sickness is to be sick, but to dwell in the spirit is to be well. If you have but one breath, God will not let you die.” After reading God’s words, I shed tears of excitement. His words gave me faith and strength. I thought: That’s right! God is almighty. Even if I have but one breath, I won’t die if it is not permitted by God. I recalled that since getting sick, I had lived in worry and fear and didn’t have any faith in God. I couldn’t help but kneel to pray to God: “O God! My life and death are in Your hands. Now I entrust myself to You. Please give me faith and strength.”
In order to make it convenient for my treatment, my son rented a house near the city hospital. I had to be hospitalized for seven days to receive the chemotherapy every twenty days. This caused me great suffering which included having loose bowels and a backache, vomiting and being numbed all over. I ached so much, as if a great many ants were gnawing on my bones, which made death seem more appealing to me than living. Just when I felt the most pain, my son brought a brother in the Lord to my house to visit me. They communicated to me on God’s will: “God created all things in the universe, and even more is in charge of them. God is almighty. Our lives are all in His hands. Therefore, so long as we have faith in God and depend on Him more, then we will see His deeds….” Then they prayed for me.
After listening to their fellowship, I felt so moved that I cried. I couldn’t but fall to my knees and pray: “O God! I believe that my life and death is all in Your hands. Now I entrust my life to You. Regardless of the outcome in the end, I will be willing to obey.” From then on, regardless of whether I was at home or received the chemotherapy treatment in the hospital, I read God’s words and learned to sing hymns of praise every day. Plus, my brothers and sisters often paid me a visit and prayed for me. Gradually, I was full of faith in the Lord and of joy and peace in my heart.
One time when I was examined in the hospital, it turned out that my white blood cell count was really low (3, normal is between 6 and 7). The doctor asked me to take medicine which could increase the white count and said: “If your white count doesn’t increase, it means your immunity is quite lowered. Just for this reason, a patient died the day before yesterday.” After hearing that, I was so scared as if death was drawing near. At that time, I kept praying in my heart: “O God! The doctor said my white count is really down now; if it doesn’t increase, I will be isolated and even die. O God! I am very afraid right now. Please give me faith. I will entrust it to You whether I live or die. Amen!” After I prayed, my heart was at peace. Thank God! Several days later, my white count increased and I passed through the crisis. I felt beyond excitement and knew in my heart that the Lord was always beside me, watching over and protecting me.
During the treatment in the hospital, every time when I felt sick from chemotherapy, I listened to hymns, unknowingly forgetting I was a patient. On the contrary, after other patients in the ward received the chemotherapy, some couldn’t eat, vomited and had diarrhea; every one of them lived in fear listlessly, and feared that they would die if they couldn’t be cured; some passed away in a short period of time.
One day, seeing that I was very happy every day although I also had cancer, one of a patient’s family asked me: “Hey, how come you don’t feel sick or vomit but can eat and still look so great? You don’t look like a patient. It’s so strange! Do you have any supernatural powers?” At her words, I thought: I don’t have any supernatural powers but have faith in God. It is God who protects me and bestows peace and joy upon me. Thanks be to God!
After receiving the chemotherapy for one time, I went to the hospital to have a medical recheck-up. The doctor told me in surprise: “The cancer cells have disappeared and every aspect of your body has recovered to normality.” After hearing the news, my family and I shed tears of excitement and gratitude and we all knew it was the Lord’s mighty power that cured me.
The Bible says: “Yes, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me” (Psalms 23:4). After experiencing the illness, I felt that God was always with me and watched over and protected me. When I endured the utmost torment during the chemotherapy, it was God’s words that supported me. Without the guidance of His words, I couldn’t have lived to the present.
Back in the day, the doctor said I had only several months to live. However, after ten years have passed, I still live well and am up to the mark. No person can be in charge of people’s life and death and everyone’s fate is controlled by the hands of God. Thank God! It is He who has saved me and given me a second chance at life. Every time I think of that, I tell myself silently: From now on, I will certainly believe in God properly and repay His love for me.
Thanks be to God! My brothers and sisters, I have finished sharing my experience!