Spouses should love and respect each other. However, the divorce rate has been increasing in recent years. How to get along well with each other has become a major headache for every couple. A friend of mine often had squabbles with her husband soon after marriage. As a matter of fact, she should forbear her husband and let bygones be bygones, but the anger goes to her head and they keep arguing. The same problem also annoys many families. Arguing not only hurts couples’ feelings, but inflicts suffering on their family members. Then how should couples relate well to each other?

First, learn to reflect on ourselves and find our problems.

God’s word says, “Cruel, brutal mankind! The conniving and intrigue, the jostling with each other, the scramble for reputation and fortune, the mutual slaughter—when will it ever end? God has spoken hundreds of thousands of words, yet no one has come to their senses. They act for the sake of their families, and sons and daughters, for their careers, prospects, status, vanity, and money, for the sake of clothes, for food and the flesh, … How many do not act for the sake of their own interests? How many do not oppress and discriminate against others for the sake of maintaining their own status?”

God’s word has revealed the truth: After being corrupted by Satan, we are full of arrogant disposition and unwilling to hurt our interests, so we keep fighting and no one is willing to give way. As long as we know ourselves, we will put aside ourselves and learn to listen to other opinions when problems show up.

Second, couple should learn to open up to each other.

God’s words say, “After living together for several years, they will have gotten used to each other, and locked horns a few times. But if you are both of normal humanity, you will always commune the words within your heart to him, and he to you. Whatever difficulties you have in life, the problems in your work, what you’re thinking in your heart, how you plan to sort things out, what ideas and plans you have for your work or children—you’ll tell him everything. In that case, are the two of you especially close to each other, and especially intimate with each other? If he never tells you the words within his heart, and does nothing but bring a paycheck home, and if you never speak to him of the words within your heart, and never confide in him, then is there not a distance between the two of you in your hearts? There surely is. He is distant from you, and you from him, because you don’t understand the thoughts or intentions in his heart. Ultimately, you cannot tell what kind of person he is, nor can he tell what kind of person you are; you don’t understand his needs, nor does he understand your requirements. If people have no verbal or spiritual communication, there is no possibility of intimacy between them, and they can’t provide to each other or help one another.” The reason why couples quarrel happens is mostly that they don’t open their hearts to each other. As time goes on, they develop estrangement and quarrel with each other. When we try to tell him the words within our hearts, he will see our hearts and do the same to us, then the estrangement will be cleared up. If we act like this, getting along harmoniously won’t be difficult.