By Su Hui

“Mom, how does this red coat look on me? Cute?” my daughter asked me with an expectant look.

“Yes, your cheeks appear even more rosy!” I replied, happily.

Seeing how healthy my daughter was, I felt a deep gratitude in my heart for God’s care and protection, and couldn’t help but recall the time when I had just accepted God’s last days’ work. At that time, I regarded faith as spiritual sustenance, and thought it had nothing to do with real life. For this reason, I just attended meetings and sang hymns, to the point that I failed to have true faith in or reliance on God or true personal experience of God’s existence. However, later on my daughter’s illness allowed me to personally appreciate and confirm the true existence of God, and also to remedy my incorrect views on faith.

One day, my daughter suddenly developed a high fever, so I brought her to a clinic for an injection and had her take medicine on time at home. But two days later, she was little better and another 3 days’ IV drips didn’t work either. Seeing how she suffered from the fever, my heart was filled with apprehension. I thought: “My daughter’s fever is unusual. Could it be that she gets a serious illness?” A doctor suggested: “You’d better take her to a big hospital for a routine blood test.” What he said immediately sent me into anxiety. So, without any further delay, I rushed my daughter to a big hospital.

After a blood test in the hospital, the results came back quickly. Seeing the report, a doctor said to me: “The exams show that your daughter doesn’t contract a virus. But her hemogram is abnormal and her red blood cell count is two thirds less than normal, which is considered the symptoms of leukemia. She needs to be admitted to the hospital for observation and treatment straight away.” This sudden blow left me feeling so weak, my mind going blank, and tears involuntarily falling from my eyes. I thought: “She is my only child, and she is just 9 years old, but she has become seriously ill. If something were to happen to her, how could I go on living?” When the doctor saw how I was suffering he comforted me and said: “Don’t be nervous. Only after several other tests can an exact diagnosis be made. Let her stay here under observation.” Afterward, when I recovered my senses, I hurried to call my husband to come to the hospital.

Before long, my husband arrived at the hospital and then immediately went through the formalities for my daughter’s admission to hospital. I sat in a chair as I held my emaciated daughter closely, feeling like a knife was being twisted in my heart, worrying that my daughter really did have leukemia and would leave me forever. In my helplessness and pain, I suddenly thought of how I was a believer in God and how my brothers and sisters often fellowshiped with me that we should rely on God more when encountering things. I then remembered a sister’s experience. When she was sick and in despair, as she relied on and looked up to God by faith, and put the words of God into practice, she was protected by God. I should learn to bring God into my real life like the sister, and I might see God’s wondrous deeds. So, I silently prayed to God in my heart: “God! Please protect my heart from shunning You. I don’t understand what Your will is in what is happening now. I ask only that You give me faith and strength.” After the prayer, my heart gradually became quiet and I didn’t feel so afraid and helpless.

After finishing procedures to check our daughter into the hospital, my husband stayed with her, while I went home for some toiletries. After I got home, I read a passage of God’s words which say: “Almighty God, the Head of all things, wields His kingly power from His throne. He rules over the universe and all things, and He is in the act of guiding us on the whole earth. We shall at every moment be close to Him, and come before Him in quietness, never missing a single moment, and with lessons for us to learn at all times. Everything, from the surrounding environment to people, affairs, and things, all exist by permission of His throne. Do not on any account let grievances arise in your heart, or God will not bestow His grace upon you. When sickness befalls, this is God’s love, and surely His kind intentions are harbored within. Though your body may undergo a bit of suffering, entertain no ideas from Satan. Praise God in the midst of illness and enjoy God in the midst of your praise. Do not lose heart in the face of illness, keep seeking again and again and do not give up, and God will illuminate you with His light. How was Job’s faith? Almighty God is an all-powerful physician! To dwell in sickness is to be sick, but to dwell in the spirit is to be well. So long as you still have one breath, God will not let you die.” From God’s words I understood that faced with this situation, I should practice quieting my heart before God and not panic. God is almighty, and all people, events, and things are ruled and arranged in the hands of God. Everything I faced was happening with God’s permission, so I ought to seek God’s will and not blame or misunderstand Him. Through seeking and reflecting, I saw that although I had believed in God for over a year, I did not pay attention to bringing God into my real life and experiencing His work, with the result that I did not have real trust in or reliance on Him. Through my daughter’s illness, I should learn to truly rely on and look up to God. At the thought of this, I had the resolution to cooperate with God, and was willing to entrust my daughter’s illness into God’s hands, rely on God to experience His work, and live by His words.

On the second day, the doctor said to me: “I’ll give your daughter drips that will help stimulate the production of the red blood cells, and then we’ll have to wait and see. If it doesn’t work after a course of treatment, then she needs medullary puncture.” Hearing the doctor’s words, I felt extremely pained and sad. I thought: “She’s so small but will have to endure such great suffering. Can she make it? If I could take on her illness, I would rather take her place and suffer in her stead.” After three days’ fluid infusion, my daughter got no better and still ran a high fever. Her face and lips were pale, she vomited when eating, and couldn’t even sleep at night. She said to me with a half-crying voice: “Mom, I ache all over, and my head is dizzy. Am I about to die? Mom, I’m really scared.” She then burst into tears in my arms. Seeing this, I felt extremely upset, but in order to prevent her from being worried or scared, I fought back tears as I softly said to her: “Be good. Don’t worry. We have God, and He is our backing.” Hearing this, my daughter ceased crying, and I did not feel fear as before and was less tormented and helpless.

On the morning of the sixth day, the doctor gave my daughter another blood test, and the test results showed that her red blood cell count failed to increase. The doctor said: “It’s been several days since your daughter received IV drips, but her red blood cell count hasn’t increased. She may as well undergo medullary puncture. You should prepare for the worst. Discuss this matter and make a final decision.” Hearing his words, I couldn’t accept things the way they would be. I didn’t want my daughter to bear this torment, and even suspected that the doctor had been wrong about my daughter’s illness. Therefore, I took her to another hospital for an examination, but received the same results. I fell feebly on the hospital bed, and thought to myself: “Having a bone marrow test is just going to kill her. It’s hard even for adults to bear. My daughter’s so young; she could hardly withstand the pain.” At the thought of my daughter having a bone marrow puncture, I felt my heart was about to break. In the midst of my pain and helplessness, I could only come in front of God and pray: “O God! I’m afraid and weak. Please give me faith and strength. My daughter’s illness is in Your hands. I’m willing to experience and obey Your sovereignty during the process.” After praying, I remembered two passages of God’s words: “Grasping God’s word gives us support. His word acts fast to save our hearts! It dispels all things and sets all at peace. Faith is like a single log bridge: Those who cling abjectly to life will have difficulty in crossing it, but those who are ready to sacrifice themselves can pass over, sure of foot and worry-free. If man harbors timid and fearful thoughts, it is because Satan has fooled them, afraid that we will cross the bridge of faith to enter into God.” “Man’s life originates from God, the existence of heaven is because of God, and the existence of earth stems from the power of God’s life. No object possessed of vitality can transcend the sovereignty of God, and no thing with vigor can elude the domain of God’s authority.” Yes. God’s words stated very clearly that God rules the fate of mankind and controls the life and death of mankind, and even more so is God the Ruler of the life and death of my daughter. If my daughter did have leukemia, no matter how developed science was, how skilled the doctors were, or how much money we had, they could not extend or save her life. However, God is the source of life and only He can grant people life. With the guidance of God’s words, I had even more faith in God, no longer afraid, negative or weak. Later, I said to the doctor: “After discussion, we decided to use a conservative treatment—continuing to stimulate the production of my daughter’s red blood cells by giving her IV drips. We’ll make further plans according to her condition.” The doctor agreed. In the days that followed, my daughter’s temperature gradually dropped, she began to have an appetite and could get a peaceful night’s sleep, and she slowly had a good complexion once again. A smile came back to her face, and her mental outlook was improving. Three days later, her high fever finally receded, and the routine blood test showed that her red blood cells count was back to normal. Seeing this, I cried tears of joy. I never thought that, when my heart was barely starting to turn to God and I wished to rely on and look up to God, God resolved my difficulties. At that time, I felt gratitude and praise for God deep in my heart: “God! I give thanks to You and praise You. Thanks to Your great love and mercy, my daughter can be delivered from danger. O God! In the past, I just verbally claimed to believe in You and lacked true faith in You, but You still show me mercy and kindness and have not treated me according to my rebelliousness. I’ve experienced Your love for me in a very practical way. From now on, I’m willing to practice my faith well, pursue the truth and fulfill the duties of a created being to repay Your love.”

After this, I read God’s word where it says: “Man’s heart and spirit are held in the hand of God, everything of his life is beheld in the eyes of God. Regardless of whether or not you believe this, any and all things, whether living or dead, will shift, change, renew, and disappear in accordance with God’s thoughts. Such is the way in which God presides over all things.” Through God’s words and this experience I truly saw that God holds sovereignty over and administers all things, and that God’s power is everywhere and God’s authority is everywhere.

Later on, my daughter stayed three more days in the hospital and then was discharged. As we were leaving, the doctor said: “I recommend that you bring your daughter back to the hospital for a checkup every half month. There was once a child who was in the same condition as your daughter. But several months after the child was discharged from the hospital, her illness returned. In the end, she had a bone marrow puncture and was diagnosed with leukemia.” In spite of his words, I no longer felt worried or afraid, because I knew that my daughter’s life and death were in God’s hands, and that all these things were determined by God. Later, I entrusted my daughter’s illness to God again and believed that God had made proper arrangements.

Up to now her illness hasn’t relapsed for ten years, and she has been as sound as a bell. When I see this, I sincerely give thanks and praise to God.

I think back to when I started to believe in God. I only held that there is a God, and thought that belief was merely a spiritual sustenance. This was why I was satisfied with just attending gatherings and didn’t focus on experiencing and practicing God’s words. Believing in God with such an attitude is not truly believing in God. However, in the face of my daughter being in danger, when I relied on God sincerely, I actually experienced that God was beside me, guiding me through difficulties with His words time and time again, so that I had a support to lean on as well as a way forward in my pain and helplessness, no longer confused. I’ve truly witnessed God’s omnipotence and dominance. All the glory be to God!